Beautiful Eyes That Match

About six months after Shantel’s first surgery to remove her right eye, she was fitted for her first prosthetic eye. Because she still had one remaining eye, we were told the color could be computer matched exactly. In fact, we were told we could have any color eyes we wanted for her. I said I wanted the same color as her natural eyes. After the first eye was made, I couldn’t let myself believe that we would  have to go through this again. However, after the second eye was lost to cancer and removed, we were back again to have another eye made to match the first one. How would they ever make two eyes match and look natural? We just couldn’t imagine what that would entail. It was one of the most heart breaking, and heart warming experiences we ever had.

Here we were with our precious little angel, who had been through so much, and now we were trying to have eyes made that would fill the empty spaces in her eye sockets where her own, beautiful eyes, once were. We were still so sorely grieving the loss of her natural eyes, but at the same time, we knew we had to move on, and help her move past this as well. We met again with the gentleman that made Shantel’s first prosthetic eye and at the time, we never knew what an important part he would play in her life or ours. He took measurements and told us he wold have the eye ready in two weeks.

We went back in two weeks to have the eye fitted and couldn’t believe what a difference it made in the way Shantel looked. To our amazement, she could even move the eyes. How beautiful she looked. I remember thinking how hard all this has been to believe, but if it has to be, she looks beautiful with her new prosthetic eyes.

The next few weeks were hard as we tried to adjust to having to take the prosthetic eyes out, clean and rinse both the eye sockets and the prosthetics, and put the prosthetic eyes back in place. Prescription eye drops and lubricant drops would need to be applied both morning and night. Imagine how heart breaking it is to have to look into your sweet child’s face, and remove her eyes to clean them. On the other hand, how lucky we felt that we were able to provide the prosthetics for her at all.

Still, even though we came to realize how lucky we were just to have Shantel, you never stop grieving the losses. One day, while I was driving home from work, I noticed a little girl walking with a man I assumed was her father. They were holding hands and talking. The little girl was looking up at the man and he was looking down at her smiling as he spoke to her. I began to cry so hard that I had to pull off the road to get my emotions under control. Just knowing that Shantel will never be able to look up to Bill that way was more than I could comprehend at that particular moment in time.

One of the most beautiful realizations Shantel ever reminded me of as we were going through all this,  was that when we get to heaven, she will be able to see us and she won’t have to use her cane any more. Out of the mouths of babes.

I know I’m to learn lessons from all of the experiences we have been through with Shantel. I also know now that the lessons I’m learning, are being taught to me directly from one of God’s most experienced and precious Angles, on loan to me!

Next post: Mommy Left Me!

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Gotham Girl
    Feb 18, 2012 @ 00:56:59

    You and bro are the angels my dear. So touching! Love you all so much!


  2. Megs
    Feb 20, 2012 @ 19:54:45

    Again, I have to agree with GG. I can’t even comprehend how heart wrenching this must have been.


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