Lessons Learned

I’ve learned a lot of lessons throughout my life, but the hardest lesson of all for me, always, always, comes back to trust. I don’t know if it is because my father made that such a defining measurement in his life and passed it on to me, or if it is simply that I’ve always wanted to believe so badly that most people are trustworthy. For the most part, I do believe that to be true. However, I also know there will always be a few people who come along that will take advantage of the trust you place in them. This is exactly what happened with Shantel’s one-on-one assistant at school. What made this situation even worse was that I really thought she and I were friends. She knew most of the trust issues I had with my father. I trusted her completely with Shantel and even put her in our will to be second in line to raise Shantel should anything ever happen to Bill and I. I never thought in a million years that she would break the bond I thought she and I had. But, she did.

After the Witness Protection Program meeting at the school was over I thought we would just move forward in a positive direction but Shantel’s assistant was not willing to do that at all. She became very negative with Shantel to the point of becoming a bully! She would belittle Shantel in front of her peers saying Shantel lies and can’t be trusted. If Shantel asked for help in class she would tell her she didn’t know if she could help her because it might get her in trouble with the principal etc. Of course, she would never say any of this out loud in front of other teachers, but when she was working one-on-one with Shantel, or with Shantel and another student who had special needs, she would tell Shantel she should have known better than to have crossed her.

When Shantel told me what was going on, of course, I immediately called another meeting. In the meeting I addressed everything Shantel told me and the assistant denied it all. She even asked Shantel why she was lying. I turned to the assistant and said “stop trying to intimidate my daughter”. I told her if she had a problem with me she needed to address it with me. She didn’t respond and the principal acted like she didn’t know what to say either. I could clearly see we were getting nowhere so I said I was not going to have Shantel subjected to bullying and insisted that the assistant be replaced.This ended our nine-year relationship.

When you experience these kinds of ups and downs in relationships, and in life, it can sometimes cause you to doubt yourself and all you thought you believed in. But, for me, it strengthened my confidence in myself and defined what I would and would not accept. Here are some of the things I learned along the way and things I know for sure:

I have a VERY strong faith.

I love my mother, but I’m not at all like her.

I loved my father, but he was also my biggest disappointment.

I love my brothers but I also always wanted a sister.

I love babies, children and being a mother.

I love all my children.

I love horses, never owned one, and regret that.

I am stronger than I ever thought I could be.

I am a warrior when it comes to Shantel.

I love my friends and family.

I love Bill and he has been the one constant blessing that has been with me every step of the way on this journey we started together.

I do have trust issues, but I also still believe most people are trustworthy.

I am trustworthy.

The most important thing I had to learn was to love myself. I do, and I am my own best friend.

I love who I’ve become.

I am a good mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend and family member.

All these things I know for sure as MY personal truths, and I’m still learning!

Next: Let’s Go Camping!

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Gotham Girl
    Mar 05, 2012 @ 18:22:18

    Your list is so inspiring! I’m so lucky to have you as my friend and sister! xoxo


  2. Megs
    Mar 05, 2012 @ 19:17:31

    Finally taking a few minutes to catch up on life. You amaze me and I am so proud to call you my friend. I love you!


  3. Ellen Kaufman
    Mar 05, 2012 @ 20:21:14

    You know Cindy I read this last blog and I completely understand you. I have always lived my life in stage, 1st being from birth to 20 years, 20 to 40, 40 to 60 and 60 to 80 plus. I haven’t had the same kind of situations as you have as everyone has their own personal problems etc., but you are right on with the feelings, whether it be love, trust or whatever. All through my growing up years I of course was the baby and all my siblings thought I either never grew up and had a brain or I was just the one in the way. I always got flack because I grew up being very independent, knowing what I wanted in life, but was kept back because my older siblings told my Mother I should not be allow to express myself. All I could think of after I graduated from business college was to get out of town, but that never happened to my dismay. Anyway, I never got along with my sister as you know, but loved and really looked up to my brother and other sisters. I guess I was just one of those who grew up in the late fifties and early sixties who didn’t agree with the main stream, but wanted the best for everyone. I am sorry you had to go through so much, but I know God knows best and only gives these kind of situations in life to the one who can handle them with the highest amount of dignity. I am so glad you know you are sure of the things on your list. I think that is why we hit it off so well, I like the way you think.


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