I’m Sorry

Two simple words with the power to change lives if said with meaning and a genuine purpose.

To me, saying I’m sorry means I am truly sorry for what I did and I will make every effort to never let it happen again.

Some people can’t form the words in their mouths let alone actually say them with real meaning, while others will say ” I’m sorry’ as part of a greeting. I had a neighbor who would always say “I’m sorry” to bother you… every time she would call me or speak to me in the yard.

The Webster’s dictionary gives the definition of the word sorry as ‘feeling sorrow, regret, or penitence, mournful, sad, inspiring sorrow, pity, scorn, or ridicule. The word sorry is very different from the word forgiveness which the dictionary says means “willing or able to forgive, allowing room for error or weakness”.

I often wonder why it is so difficult for some people to say “I’m sorry” when they have caused another person pain or if they realize they have wronged another person in some way?

When my father brought my world crashing down around me and my family, and hurt me so badly I didn’t know if I could take my next breath, he never said he was sorry. It took me years, but I forgave him, because I needed to give myself that gift so I could let go of the pain, even though it definitely left an emotional scar. You see, I believe when someone hurts you, and doesn’t say they are sorry, and truly mean it, you may be able to forgive them, but it still leaves a scar. However, if a person hurts you, and say’s they are sorry, and truly means it from their heart, it releases the pain, hurt, and anger within you, and allows the wound to heal without a scar. Then you can go on with your life without the constant reminder of the hurt you experienced at the hands of another.

I realize we are all human, and make mistakes, but I personally also believe we are really spiritual beings, having a human experience, not human beings that sometimes have a spiritual experience. I also believe we are all here for very specific reasons. Sometimes we are here to be the teacher’s, and sometimes we are here to learn the lessons. Two of the most important lessons I learned in my life was to always say I’m sorry if I hurt anyone, and to forgive when I have been hurt. I have an example of that to share.

When Bill and I met we were married to other people. Both of our marriages were all but over, but our divorces were not finalized when we decided to move in together. That caused hurt feelings and pain to our children, my ex-husband and his family, Bill’s ex-wife, and my parents. As I realized the far-reaching effect of our decision, I knew I needed to apologize to each and every one of them. It didn’t happen right away because emotions were just too raw, but over time, I went to each person and sincerely told them I was sorry for my part in the hurt they experienced. I didn’t say I was sorry that Bill and I were together because I wasn’t, but I was sorry that we didn’t wait until our divorces were finalized before we moved on with our lives. I didn’t ask for forgiveness either because I believe forgiveness is for the person who is forgiving, but I wanted each person to know I was truly sorry for my part in their pain.

Why am I sharing all this with you? Because, I really believe a lot of people walking around everyday carrying a lot of hurt and pain with them that could be released if they would simply sincerely say I’m sorry if they have hurt anyone, or forgive anyone who may have hurt them. Now, saying I’m sorry doesn’t mean the person is going to automatically forgive you on the spot, in fact they may not be ready to let go and forgive, but when you say you are sorry and mean it, that is all you can do to start the healing process and release your pain as well as theirs. And, when you say you are sorry, you just might plant the seed of forgiveness within the person you hurt.

What do you think?

Next: Why Ask Why?

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    Apr 25, 2012 @ 15:47:23

    Wow, what an excellent post. Just excellent. I couldn’t agree with you more. Once we release “it” the pain certainly eases…but having someone tell you they are sorry and really mean it, wow…it speeds up the healing process doesn’t it? I’m waiting for a few people in my life to say those words, so your blog today really hit home. Thank you! Love, love love you!


  2. Tracie
    Apr 25, 2012 @ 17:49:33

    Shortly after my dad passed, I realized that I had put my life on hold for almost 2 years while trying to take care of dad and then my brother. I was beginning to try to get my old, fun, self back. It was very strange but out of no where I realized that I never said “I’m sorry” to my ex-husband. I tried to call him several times but he never picked up the phone or called back. The feeling to tell him that I was sorry for hurting him all those years ago (25 to be exact) kept nagging at me. I finally sent him a text, not very personal, but it was so important for me to let him know that I was truly sorry for hurting him and that he did not deserve to be treated in the way that I had treated him. I knew that If I would have sent him a letter, his new wife would have never given it to him if she had received it first. After sending the text, which I read, re-read and re-read several times, I felt much better until I received his response…all he said was “Are you drunk….I let that ship sail a long time ago”. It wasn’t the response I expected but I felt much better letting go of some negative energy that was weighing me down. I am so inspired by your blog — keep on writing!!!!


    • beyondcinderella
      Apr 25, 2012 @ 18:51:52

      Thank you so much for your response Tracie. I so totally agree with you that even though your ex didn’t respond the way you would have liked, at least you did all you could do to let him know you were sorry and that in itself eases pain. Love you! Cindy


  3. Megs
    Apr 28, 2012 @ 13:23:52

    This post hits really close to home. I have an issue of always saying “I’m sorry”. It is a very bad habit and I have to remind myself on a regular basis to stop. As I have told you in the past, I love how you are able to forgive when someone has hurt your so deeply. I am in the same place as frissy and hope one day I will hear those words with meaning. I love you! Good cry for a Saturday morning. 🙂


    • beyondcinderella
      Apr 28, 2012 @ 14:13:43

      Thanks for your comments Megs. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond as it helps me get to know you even better too. I pray you will hear those words from the person who hurt you and that you will then be released from all the pain and find true peace. Love you so much. VA


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