Friends

What does friendship mean to you? Do you have lots of friends? Think about the people you consider your friends. How does an acquaintance different from a friend?

When I was younger, I never thought that much about friendships. As a child, I had neighborhood kids that I liked and played with, but it wasn’t the one-on-one type of friendships I developed later in my life. I had so many trust issues when I was young, it made it difficult for me to make friends, because I always had a wall up around my feelings. That, and I was never interested in the superficial so-called friendships I saw throughout high school. Then, when I married at such a  young age, I really didn’t have time for friends. I was busy with school, work, and trying to run a home. Friends just weren’t a priority to me.

When I met Bill, I found my real best friend. We were friends before we were lovers, and I truly believe that makes a huge difference in our marriage. I knew I could trust Bill with my heart and my feelings and he knew he could trust me with his. Bill and I are absolutely each other’s  best friend, as well as husband and wife. But, I still wanted  to have girlfriends. I wanted to know what it’s like to bond in friendship with other woman. I wanted have other woman I could trust, talk with, take trips with, and love. But I didn’t know how.

When I went to work in Corporate America, I witnessed for the first time, that many people do form bonded friendships that last over time. I saw woman, and men, who seemed to really care about each other both at work and in their outside lives. Not in a romantic way, although I suppose that could have been going on too, but what I was seeing was just bonding in a true sense of friendship.  It appeared to me that these friendships were genuine, and for the most part I never saw the back stabbing, gossiping type of things happening like I saw in school. Of course, there would be the occasional big mouth, or the green-eyed jealous monster, but overall, I think most of the friendships I saw were real.  This started me thinking perhaps it is worth trying to form bonds of friendship. But how does one go about that, especially if you are shy (as I was back then), have trust issues, and never had a role model to teach you the skills necessary to develop real, lasting, friendships? Well, you watch and learn…

I started really paying attention to the people I thought had mastered the art of real friendships and noticed a common theme. They made time for each other. They supported and cheered for the things that are important to their friend. They weren’t afraid to be completely open and honest with each other, knowing that their bond of friendship depended upon it And, they accepted their friend warts and all.  Imagine that! I also noticed there is a huge difference between acquaintances and real, bonded friendships. Some people call everyone they know their friend. I don’t. I think if you have even just one real friend in your life you can consider yourself fortunate and should count your blessings.

Today, I am so very proud to be able to say, other than Bill, who is my best friend, I have been blessed three times over in real friendships. I can say with all confidence, I have bonded in true friendship, with three of the most amazing woman I have ever met. They know who they are. I do also have other acquaintances, but these three woman are my real friends.

These three friendships didn’t happen overnight, in fact, each of them developed slowly over the years. That’s why I love them so dearly. They took the time to really get to know me, allowing me the time I needed to build trust and fall in love with each of them. I love these woman, my girlfriends, my sisters, my FRISTERS, and I rest in the peace of knowing they love me!

Next: Fear!

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    May 02, 2012 @ 01:33:45

    Amen to that frister! Love you to the core my sweet! xoxo MORE!

    Reply

  2. Megs
    May 03, 2012 @ 03:50:53

    Love you MORE!!

    Reply

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