Your Not My Mother!

Wow, those are powerful words aren’t they? But, for once, they weren’t being directed at me! No, in fact that is what I told Shantel the other night as she was giving me a very long , but respectful, dissertation, on how I am one of the most left brained people she knows, and how I could benefit from learning how to self-calm… Well, picture my face as I am looking at her thinking, who the hell are you and what did you do with my precious daughter? Let me explain:

Shantel wanted to rent a movie the other night and wanted me to watch it with her so I did. At the end of the movie she said “well good night mom” gave me a hug and off she went to her room leaving me to figure out how to get the movie stopped on our new Blu-Ray disc player that shows movies on our new, large flat screen TV. Now, according to Shantel, for all you right-brained people, and “both brained” people, this is probably a simple thing, Ha!

My husband, Bill, gave me a VERY short, VERY quick, lesson on how to operate this contraption just before he want to bed. He has to get up very early every morning so he doesn’t stay up too late during the week. Anyway, I didn’t have time to take notes, so I tried my best to remember everything he said to do since I now know you have to work one control for the Blu- Ray disc player, and one for the TV. Apparently the two can be combined but that is even more complicated and hasn’t been mastered yet. So, now, here I am in the family room, all alone, trying to figure out what buttons I need to push to get the disc out of the Blu-Ray player and how to get the TV back on. I start pushing all the buttons on the Blu-Ray controller and got a bunch of stuff on the screen that I didn’t even recognize because I never saw any of it in my life, and it didn’t show up when Bill gave me the whirlwind  operational lesson. Go figure! I may not be technology brained blessed, but I am determined not to let anyone know I don’t know how the hell to get a Blu-Ray disc out of our new Blu-Ray player and get our new flat screen TV back on… So, I start pushing buttons on the new flat screen TV controller.  Nothing is happening except I’m deciding I am never renting another movie for the rest of my life unless Bill is there to operate this new flat-ray blue-TV…I hate this thing now and am getting really upset that not one of the buttons I am pushing is making anything turn off or on. The movie is frozen on the screen and I am starting to think I should just pull the plug. But, if I do that, I won’t be able to watch the news in the morning while I’m cleaning house…So I start thinking perhaps I could leave a note for Bill asking him to get the movie out and the TV back on, but I remember seeing a little grin come across his face as he was going to bed which now I’m thinking he knew I was going to have a problem remembering how to follow the operational instructions he whizzed by me in his rush to get to bed…No, I will not be defeated…I will stay up all night if I have to but I will not be defeated by this stupid contraption. I don’t even like watching movies at home anyway, I like to go to the movies and see things on a big screen that other people operate for me while I just relax…This contraption is not letting me relax..Bill is relaxing, Shantel is relaxing, but I’m stressed and may never relax again. Now I am to the point of letting a few little four letter words slip out like, S–T!,  S–T!!,  S–T!!! But, not to worry..Shantel comes to my rescue! She walks in and asks what’s wrong? I start telling her I can’t get the movie off or the TV on…she says “well, that’s because you are so upset” I wanted to ask her what was her first clue, but decided I better not run off the one person who is here to help me. Never mind that she is blind and can’t see the buttons I’m now pounding on,  and she didn’t see the operational instructions her father whizzed by me! She is here to help and I need help. So I ask her what she thinks I should do? She says “well, mom, you could benefit from learning how to self-calm”.  SELF-CALM, I ask in as quiet of a voice as I can manage at this point? How do you expect me to do that? She quickly goes into all the ways such as deep breathing, meditation, soft music etc. Picture my face at this point listening to this self-calming theory when I just want to pick up the TV and Blu-disc player and throw it all out the front door so I can go to bed! But, I don’t. No, I listen, and listen, and listen, until I can’t stand it anymore and I say “hey, Your Not My Mother”, I’m yours, so I don’t think I need any more advice about how to self-calm. But thanks for sharing”. Then, I picked up that damn Blu-disc controller and don’t have a clue what happened, but the movie went off and when I picked up the Flat TV controller the TV came on…I never told Shantel that I don’t know how I got it all working again, and I never told Bill I ever had a little problem remembering the tutorial he gave me. That will just be my little secret, at least until he reads this blog post! Ha!!!

In closing I will admit I am a VERY left brained person,,,VERY left brained. I must have a plan for everything and need everything to go according to the plan… Well, what’s wrong with that I ask? And, of course, Shantel is just more than willing, and able, to tell me all about how left brain people have their place in the world, and the world is a better place because of them, but they also lack creativity. Now, I don’t know about that, I like to think I am a very creative left brained person. I got that movie off and the TV on right?

I just knew encouraging Shantel to be a Psychology Major was going to come back to bite me!

Next: Patience!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    May 31, 2012 @ 17:16:58

    GREAT post! And how I can so relate. Trust me, the can opener gave me a fit while trying to cook YOUR jambalaya. So what does that say??? I can just picture Shantel telling you all about “self-calm” and the conversation around that. Thanks for a wonderful morning laugh!!!!

    Reply

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