Hire a teenager while they still know everything!

Sometimes I think teenagers are God’s way of making us want to let go of our kids:)

Most mothers would agree that motherhood is the hardest job we’ll ever love…but who “defines hardest”? I mean I’ve had plenty of hard jobs in my life, both physically and mentally hard jobs. But, nothing, at least not in my book, compares to being a full-time mother. Nothing!

When children are small, you don’t think about what their teenage years will be like. No, you see the world of motherhood through rose-colored glasses. You see your little girls with ribbons and curls and a smile that will melt your heart. You live the storybook theme of your little boys with snakes and snails and puppy dog tails, and all the world seems right…

Once you get through all the early childhood tantrums, chickenpox, and the drama of grade school years, you might begin to think you are finally going to catch a break because you have done your job well, and you know your kids know the rules, and even more importantly, they know the consequences of not following the rules, right?  Well, not so fast…I now know that the front part of the brain, the part that allows us to see around the corners of our actions and know if I do this stupid thing…that bad thing will happen…that part of the brain isn’t even completely developed until about 20 or 21 years of age. But try telling that to a teenager!

Everyone that knows me, knows I love my precious Shantel with my whole heart and soul. I have devoted the second phase of my life to making sure she has everything she needs to develop into the successful, contributing member of society I know she will become. However, that journey has not been easy and just when I thought things are settling down a bit after the horror of her High School years, and the great first year of college she just completed, I now find out she doesn’t need me to help her anymore because at the ripe old age of 18 , she knows everything!  Example:

Me – Shantel, you need to get your purse off the dining room chair and put it away.  Shantel – I know.

Me – Shantel, you need to pick-up the towels on the floor in your room. Shantel – I know.

Me –  Shantel, you need to decide what classes you are taking in August and contact Voc Rehab to let them know so they can get the payment sent in to the college on time. Shantel – I know.

Me – Shantel you need to register for the classes you want to take in August before the classes all fill up, and you need to find out if the books you need can be ordered on-line and let the college know what math class you are taking so they can get that book brailled in time for class.  Shantel – I know

All I ever hear from her is I know, I know, I know…that and “I forgot when I ask her a few days after she told me “she knows ” why she hasn’t done what ever needed to be done…

After dealing with the school for years trying to make sure Shantel had everything she needed to compete with her sighted peers, I know how long these things take to get everything done. I’ve done my best to help Shantel understand she can’t wait til the last-minute to start working on books, classes, payment from Voc Rehab etc. But, hey she is a teenager and they know everything…

So, as difficult as it was because I am so programmed to jumping in and getting everything done “on time” I decided I had to step back, and let my precious daughter either fly or fall. Then, I developed a plan, because I love plans… I reminded myself, all on my own, that she is a grown adult now, and she needs to be the one worrying about her own education etc. and if she isn’t worried about getting things done in time, I don’t need to worry about it either. I decided I’m not going to remind her any more. I will wait, and watch, and see how she handles it on her own. If it doesn’t get done in time, and she comes running to me wanting me to jump through hoops to help her get everything done at the last-minute, I am going to say “well, since you seem to know everything, you shouldn’t have any problem figuring out how you are going to do this without any help from me”….right? Stay tuned!

Next: Scorpion update – OMG Here We Go Again!!

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    Jun 07, 2012 @ 21:34:53

    Oh how I thought I knew everything at that age. Of course I left home the day I turned 18 and how quickly I found out that I didn’t. However, this is the most important time in life to let go and see what happens. What’s the worse case? I think you’re making the smartest decision by letting her do it on her own and allowing her to face the consequences. She’ll learn…believe me she’ll learn fast! Great post my dear! xoxo MORE!


    • beyondcinderella
      Jun 08, 2012 @ 01:39:24

      Thanks frissy for your support. I know I can always count on you, especially when I am dealing with difficult decisions with Shantel. I really need and appreciate your once removed point of view as one of her “other” moms…:) MORE! GH


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