Scorpion Update!

If you follow my blog, you all know by now that we have scorpions in our beautiful new home we moved into in April, and I have been traumatized for life. Not only have I been traumatized by these nasty, vicious, creatures, but the whole experience has changed who I am.

When I first found out we have scorpions, I researched everything I could to find out how to get rid of them. I looked to many, many, sources including family, friends and of course I sought professional help as well. But  nothing I was told gave me any hope that my life, as I knew it, will ever be the same. No, I now know I am going to live in a constant state of extreme fear. Now I know how the cave men and women felt when they had to live in fear of being killed and eaten by the dinosaurs! Fear is fear, is fear…and let me tell you, I FEAR SCORPIONS!!!

So, after the first episode of dealing with the scorpions, and taking all the precautions I was told to take, including, but not limited to, bravely hunting for them in the dark with only a black light, long tongs, and a can of scorpion killer spray that I could only pray would really kill them…I was so exhausted both mentally and physically (it’s amazing what stress will do to the body), that I was over joyed when it came time for me to go visit my frissy in New York City. I couldn’t get out of this scorpion infested house fast enough, and my frissy assured me they don’t have scorpions in New York. So I had a full week of total relaxation, laughter, and not one scorpion to be found.

My frissy told me all about how her beautiful home in Scottsdale had scorpions and how she and her husband battled them for years too. She said she was traumatized by them for a long, long time, but she finally came to accept the fact that they are around, mostly dead now, because her husband takes care of exterminating their home. Frissy told me it will take me a long time, but I will eventually come to not be as traumatized by knowing scorpions live among us…that was reassuring and calming to me, and I came home refreshed and with a renewed resolve to learn how to deal with these vicious pests…And, my husband, Bill, told me he never saw any scorpions at all the whole week I was away. Then, when I came home, I looked and looked, but I never saw any more scorpions either. So I finally started to relax a bit. I mean I still sleep with the night-light on, the black light by my bed in case I need it, and of course, a fly swatter, and the can of scorpion killer spray…just in case, but over all I did feel myself begin to relax a bit…

Then, we had to go to Home Depot for some wood to build a step at our front door so our cat won’t get out when the big door is open. While we were there we start chatting with the man who was helping us and for some reason he felt the need to tell us he just moved here from Hawaii and he just couldn’t believe all the scorpions there are here and how frightened his wife is of them. He even went as far as to tell us where we could go if we get stung and need to get the antivenom! He said he even found one in his pool!! HIS POOL!! I have a pool, and I swim in my pool everyday…I thought that was the one place I could relax and not worry about a scorpion attacking me for God’s sake…But, NO, now I have to scan the pool too! Well, needless to say I came home from that little shopping trip even more traumatized than ever and I didn’t think that was possible…but I found out it is possible and I was about to find out just how traumatized I could really get.

Here is what happened. I weigh every morning as soon as I get up before I start my exercise routine. We have a walk-in linen closet in our master bathroom and I keep my scale in there. So picture me going in there to get weighed and I look over at one of the scorpion traps I have in there, as well as every other room in this beautiful, scorpion infested house, and I see a huge, live scorpion stuck to the sticky board but still wiggling its vicious stinger all around at me! OMG!!! I can’t even breathe…Bill is at work, Shantel is still in bed, and I am there all alone to figure out what to do if I can ever get my brain to function again. I am frozen in fear staring at that scorpion, and it is staring right back at me. OMG, I really thought I was having a heart attack and really I think that might not have been as traumatic as facing that huge, vicious, creature that was hell-bent on trying to get off the trap and kill me!!

I knew there was no way I was going to leave that nasty thing alive and moving on that trap because with my luck it would work its way off and hunt me down for sure. No, I knew I had to kill it dead right now…so, I ran and got the scorpion killer spray, the long tongs, and a long-handled hammer! Yes, I sprayed that killer spray all over that huge killer scorpion, then when it stopped moving…I ever so carefully picked up the whole trap with the long tongs and carried it outside on the back patio. I laid the trap down and I smashed that sucker over and over agin with the long-handled hammer…Then, like the crazed woman these vicious creatures have changed me into…I left its smashed, broken, body in the trap, right on the back patio as an example for any other scorpion that wants to come in my house to see and perhaps think twice about wanting to live in MY beautiful home!

Then, I called my husband, Bill, at work and told him what had happened and what I was forced to do. He didn’t sound like he thought it was as big a deal as it really was for me…not that he didn’t care, but he just isn’t afraid of the scorpions so how could he relate? He can’t…but when he got home and I went all through the whole thing again and he could see how traumatized I was, and I told him if money was not an option to consider, I would move out of my beautiful dream home TODAY,,,TODAY,,,just to get away from these horrible, vicious, creatures. I can’t imagine why God ever created these  awful things but I am sure he will tell me all about his plan when I get to heaven which may not be too long from now if I have to go through many more episodes like this…my heart for sure just can’t take much more…stay tuned!

Next: We’re Having A Party!

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Gotham Girl
    Jun 08, 2012 @ 20:25:15

    I have laughed and laughed over this post. Your best one YET!!!!!!! I know it’s serious for you, but your writing style is so fun and I’ve been eagerly awaiting the arrival of this post!!!! Well done my frister, well done. Now, drink a glass of wine and it’ll all be better. Love you!!!!!! MORE!

    Reply

  2. Ellen Kaufman
    Jun 09, 2012 @ 02:00:23

    It must be so terrible for you. I cannot believe they can be found in the pool too. I am like you, I would be up all night looking for the critters. You must be exhausted. Well, all I can say is keep that jug of wine handy cause if you aren’t going to move out of the dream house you are going to need something to keep you calm and your mind off of them. If it puts you a little more at ease I will pray to the Scorpion Saint to protect you or maybe we can find a Satute Saint to bury outside to get rid of them. Love you Sweetie!!!!

    Reply

  3. gotham girl
    Jun 10, 2012 @ 19:21:32

    I think Auntie Ellen has a FABULOUS idea! Just like when you sold your house, bury something to bury to make those darn things go away!! xoxo

    Reply

    • beyondcinderella
      Jun 10, 2012 @ 21:58:39

      I have been searching for a patron saint of scorpoins but can’t find anything so I spent my hour of Adoration today praying and placing my request before my God to chase all scorpoins out fo my home and my life. “Ask and you shall receive” All I have to do is believe.. and I BELIEVE!!! MORE GH

      Reply

      • Lucie
        Jun 20, 2012 @ 21:54:42

        Great Post I too wait for all your posts….. Aunte Ellen may have something there with a patron saint. Maybe you can put in a request to the church for and suggested patron saint of scorpoin’s ….. just a thought. Take care love you.

  4. gotham girl
    Jun 10, 2012 @ 19:22:10

    Oops…that was buy something to bury, I need a glass of wine, ha ha!

    Reply

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