I Don’t Like Turkey

That’s what my mother told me when I reminded her that she was coming to my house for Thanksgiving.

A few weeks ago my mother started telling me “everyone here in the Care Center is going out for Thanksgiving with their families”. I told mom she could come home to my house for Thanksgiving if she wanted and she very quickly said “oh, yes, I would love to because I love Thanksgiving and it will be good to have a good home cooked meal”. So we settled it that day and mom agreed she will come to my house for Thanksgiving..

Now, among other things, my mother has Parkinson’s disease and it is moving into the more advanced stages which cause her to have longer and longer periods of time when she can’t remember things, sometimes even things she knew a few hours ago…I understand that and try to keep that in mind when I’m visiting with mom. Some days I talk to her and she is just like her old self…she speaks clearly, seems to know what she wants, or doesn’t want if she is upset about something…on her good days, she still plays bingo, and goes out to Wal-mart from time to time…however, on other day’s, when I visit her she seems confused, has trouble finding her words to tell me things, and shakes uncontrollably…

I’ve learned not to talk to mom about things too far in the future because she doesn’t think ahead without getting confused and anxious especially if she thinks she is supposed to do something today that in reality might not take place until tomorrow or next week. She functions better if she stays in the moment and only has to think about what she is going to do in real time…For example: Mom asks me every time I talk to her when she is coming home for Thanksgiving and I keep reminding her when Thanksgiving is. I marked it on her calendar and show her how to count the days but she forgets and will call me and ask me if I’m coming to get her today for Thanksgiving or when I go to visit her she will say “oh, your here to take me home to your house for Thanksgiving now…” Mom and I have talked a lot about Thanksgiving over the past few weeks. Mom keeps telling me how excited she is to get to come to my house for the big Thanksgiving dinner like we use to have when I was younger…she asks me what I will make and I’ve told her over and over…Turkey, mashed potatoes/gravy, cranberry sauce, homemade dinner rolls, vegetables, and Shantel’s homemade apple and pumpkin pie…Everytime mom and I discuss the Thanksgiving menu…mom says “oh, I can’t hardly wait…that is all going to be so good…”

Now, picture my face, as I told mom yesterday that I bought the turkey, and most of the ingredients for the pies and rolls… and it’s starting to look a lot like Thanksgiving around my house…and she looks at me and says with all sincerity…”I don’t like Turkey”…

What!!! Are you kidding me??? Mom, you do like Turkey, you always ate turkey…we always had turkey for Thanksgiving when I was younger…and you always ate turkey when you lived with me…you do like turkey mom…when we talked about the menu you said you couldn’t wait to have the home-made meal…but all while I was trying to gently convince mom she does like turkey (she really does like turkey…) she sat still as a statue. Then, she looked me right in the eye and said “Cindy, I know what I like and I Don’t Like TURKEY”!!!

*Note to self: Mom does like turkey, mom really does like turkey…I’m not crazy (at least not about this…)mom DOES LIKE TURKEY…she just needs to be reminded that she likes turkey…and it’s my job to gently help her remember that she not only likes turkey…she LOVES turkey:)

I’m praying for strength,

Stay Tuned!

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    Nov 09, 2012 @ 18:18:01

    Sending big virtual hugs to you! I so understand! Oh, btw, I LOVE turkey! 🙂 Love you more!


  2. Bill
    Nov 09, 2012 @ 23:37:04

    Since you know you love turkey Sis, why don’t you come to Thanksgiving?


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