Mom’s New Shoes

On August 8th, I wrote a blog post titled “Want vs Need”. In that post I talked about my 86-year-old mother, who lives in a 24/7 skilled nursing center, getting upset with me because she wanted a new pair of SAS sandals, and I told her she didn’t need another pair of shoes. I reminded my mother that she already has two good pair of sandals and three good pair of walking shoes. I also reminded my mother that after paying her monthly rent at the care center, she only has a few dollars left that is needed for her hair cuts and monthly field trip to Wal-Mart where she buys some of her personal need items with money we put in her account at the care center. (My brother, Danny and my husband, Bill, and I always put money in her personal account for her birthday and all the holiday’s. That way she can feel like she is buying herself her personal care items. Her birthday is on September 7th so we will update her account then).

When I told my mother she didn’t have any money to spend on shoes, she got upset with me and told me I could leave. I tried to reason with her and let her know my brother, Danny, and my husband, Bill, and I make sure she has what she needs but none of us can afford to spend money on things she just thinks she has to have, especially when she already has several of the same items.

Well, my mother just couldn’t leave well enough alone. So, last Friday, she decided to go to Wal-Mart with the other residents. She went to the front desk at the care center, and asked for the last $15.00 in her account. That money was supposed to go for her next hair cut, but my mother decided she was going to have new shoes no matter what. So she found a cheep $10.00 pair of walking shoes at Wal-Mart, and she bought them.

Then, called to tell me all about them saying “everyone at the care center just begged me to go to Wal-Mart with them so I went and just happened to come across a great deal on some new walking shoes, and still had enough money left over to get a caramel frappe at the McDonald’s that is inside of Wal-Mart”. She wanted me to be excited about the shoes but I just couldn’t. In fact, I really didn’t know what to say to her. She kept saying “I can’t wait for you to see my new shoes”. Finally, I said “well, mom, I suppose I will see them soon enough on Wednesday when I come to visit you”. At that my mother said “when you come over on Wednesday, bring me a tube of toothpaste because now, I really don’t have any money…” I said “sure, mom, I would be delighted to do that for you”.

Today, when I went to see my mother, she had on her new walking shoes and held her feet out for me to see the shoes saying ” aren’t these nice, they feel just like I have feathers on my feet.” I smiled and said “yes, mom, they are nice and I’m glad you like them. They look just like the other three pair you have”.


But, what I was thinking was, you have some feathers alright, but they are not on your feet!!!

I sat with my mother for a couple of hours until it was time for her church service. I took her to the room where the church service is held and visited with one of the volunteers that conducts the service, and very nice lady, Mary. Mary asked if anyone had anything or anyone special they wanted to add to the prayer list….I spoke right up and said “ YES, I want to be a lifetime member on your prayer list because God knows I need all the help I can get…


Note to my daughter, Shantel: I will do everything I can to make sure I stay healthy so I can always take care of myself, and I pray I never have to go to a care center. But in the event Papa precedes me in death, please know I will trust you to make  the right decisions in my best interests.

Stay Tuned!

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    Aug 15, 2013 @ 01:48:05

    And just in case Shantel needs a reminder…tell her I’ll be there to do that! 🙂 xoxo MORE!


  2. katsbynp
    Aug 16, 2013 @ 13:25:48

    Your mom sounds very much like mine and seeing other people their age I sometimes think that the “want” is a product of their generation. Thanks for sharing.


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