No Mom,

You don’t need dial-a-ride!

My mother, who lives in a 24/7 skilled nursing care center, called me yesterday to tell me I needed to help her fill out forms to get certified to start using dial-a-ride. She said once the forms are completed “we” need to take them to Phoenix so she can be interviewed and certified to start using dial-a-ride services.

I asked her why she thought she needed dial-a-ride services and she told me her friend got certified and told mom she should get certified too. I asked mom where she was going to go on dial-a-ride and she told me “dial-a-ride will take you where ever you want, they will take you as far as you want to go and bring you back”. I said ” mom, who do you think is going to go with you on dial-a-ride? She said “if you weren’t available, one of my aids would go with me”. I said the care center is not going to pay one of your aids to ride around on dial -a-ride with you, and I’m not going to go on dial-a-ride with you even if I were available because your right, they will take you where you want to go and drop you off….but they also can leave you stuck for hours waiting for them to come back and pick you up”. I said I know all about dial-a-ride because Shantel uses dial-a-ride everyday to bring her home from school. And, there have been many times when they left Shantel sitting for three hours or more. There have also been a few times when they didn’t come and pick her up at all and Bill had to go and get her when he got off work. So why would you want to take that chance”?

I reminded mom that the reason she is in the care center to begin with is she requires 24/7 care. I also reminder her that the reason I stopped taking her out to lunch, movies, or even bringing her home for visits, is because I can’t manage her my myself. It takes two people to get her in and out of her wheelchair, in and out of the car, not to mention what happens when she needs to use the restroom… I told her anything she needs is right in the care center. I said “all your doctors are right there, and if you need any tests done, they order them done right in the care center, and if you need to get out of the care center, you have the option of going on the scheduled field trips to Wal-Mart, lunches, movies, and even casinos…there is no other reason you need to leave that care center, so no mom, you don’t need dial-a-ride.

At this point, as usual, my mother told me she was going to call my brother, Danny. I told her to do that but I assured her Danny was not going to approve her getting certified for dial-a-ride either. At that, my mother said “I have to go now, I’m tired and I need a nap.” I said “OK mom, I’ll see you Wednesday.”

I hung up the phone from my mother and called Danny. I explained the dial-a-ride situation to him and he laughed out loud saying “she’s not going to do that and I’ll tell her that too. I said “well, I just wanted to give you a heads-up because she said she’s going to call you next and I’m getting so tired of always being the one to have to tell mom no, she doesn’t need something, so I appreciate your continued support…At that, Danny told me he appreciates everything I do for her because he lives 45 minutes away and it allows him go to work everyday knowing she is being looked after. He said he knows mom doesn’t make it easy for me, and he knows she doesn’t always show her appreciation. He said he wanted me to know he knows I do a great job with mom, and not to feel bad when I have to say “No Mom”!

I LOVE Danny!!!

Stay Tuned!

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    Aug 20, 2013 @ 23:51:55

    I just LOVE you!!! Counting the days…counting the days…


  2. katsbynp
    Aug 24, 2013 @ 23:27:37

    It is never easy to say “No Mom”. I remember the first time I had to tell that to my mom when she came to live with me. You are a wonderful and loving daughter. Thanks for sharing this story


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