He’s Alive!

In a previous post titled “are you sure”, I shared with you that my mother was having issues with a male resident, Ralph, at her Care Center who was running his wheelchair into the back of my mother’s wheelchair, hitting the back of her wheelchair with his fists, and being an overall bully. I addressed the matter with the head of nursing services, and the matter was brought under control.

However, the very next week, my mother told me that Ralph had a medical emergency in the dinning room, was taken to the hospital, and died… I asked her if she was sure he died and she said “yes, the duty nurse, Judy, said he was already gone.” That same day, mom told me another resident, Bill, died too.

I had so many people ask me what really happened to Ralph and Bill after that post, that I promised I would provide an update as soon as I had more information. Keep in mind that any information I share is always subject to scrutiny because every time I visit mom at the Care Center I leave feeling like I just watched a cliff-hanger soap opera and have to wait until the next episode to find out what happens, or more importantly, what really happened as the stories keep changing depending on who is telling it…

So, fast forward to yesterday. Mom called to tell me my brother, Danny, came over the weekend to visit her. He comes every Sunday, but she stills feels the need to call and let me know he actually showed up… While I was talking to mom, she said “well, we finally found out what happened to that other man.” I asked what other man, and she said “you know that man who was bothering me.” I said “you mean Ralph? Yes, she said. I said “what do you mean what happened to him, you said he died?” Do you mean he’s not dead or you found out what he died from? He’s not dead, she said…  Mom, why did you say Ralph was dead if you didn’t know for sure? Mom said “well, you know a lot of people around here have dementia and they don’t always know what they are saying? Yes, mom, I pretty much figured that part out already… So Ralph is alive and in the hospital, I asked? Yes, she said, and he is coming back here today. I said “oh, I know his wife will be glad to see him again don’t you think?” Well, I don’t know why she would be happy to see him, she said, he’s so damn mean. Well, mom, you just try to stay away from Ralph and perhaps he will leave you alone too.

What about Bill, I asked? Bill who, she said? Bill that always sat in the corner by the nurses station. Oh, that Bill, he’s dead. Are you sure about that mom? I guess I’m as sure about that as I am anything around here. Now don’t go “blabbing”  to anyone about what all happened. What do you mean what all happened mom? You know, all that happened with Ralph. I don’t want people to think we’re all crazy. Too late mom.  What do you mean, who did you tell? Oh just my family and a few close friends, don’t worry about it. So you don’t care if people think your crazy she said? No mom, I gave up worrying about what people think a long time ago. It takes a lot of pressure off when you do that. You should try it sometime. At that, mom told me she had to hang up, because she had the game on and she didn’t want to miss any more of it. I said OK, mom I’ll see you on Wednesday.

So, there you have it, or as much of an update as I have regarding Ralph and Bill. I do believe Ralph is alive because I don’t believe the Care Center would have just left his wife wandering around the center looking for him if he really had died. I believe they would have called the family in to spend more time with her, and for sure they would have been making funeral arrangements… However, I’m still not sure if Bill is really dead. Bill was a kind and gentle man who had been in the Care Center for many years, and I can’t imagine he would have passed and no one would even mention it. Usually when a resident passes the Care Center has a little ceremony in the garden and they release a balloon for every resident that passed that month. They also invite any other residents or visitors who knew the person that passed to attend the ceremony.

I will most likely see the duty nurse, Judy, tomorrow, and will follow-up on this latest information mom provided. If there are any further details I will provide another update to this continuing cliff-hanging saga/soap opera… 🙂

Stay Tuned!

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. katsbynp
    Oct 30, 2013 @ 02:12:06

    “Like the sands through the hourglass these are the days at the Care Center!” Glad to know Ralph is alive. Awaiting the news on Bill. I truly enjoyed this post and truly laughed at ” I don’t want people to think we’re all crazy” Thank you for sharing…XoXo


  2. gotham girl
    Oct 30, 2013 @ 15:28:50

    I LOVE THIS!!!! xoxoxo Keep us posted!


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