I’m Fired

Well, the peace-offering my mother made for me, and I wrote about in my last blog post didn’t last long… My mother is already pissed off at me again, and told me yesterday that she would “fire me.”

It all started the week before Thanksgiving when my mother decided she wanted to have some wine with her Thanksgiving dinner at the care center. Her doctor approved her having a glass of wine, and her table mate’s doctor’s approved them having a glass of wine as well. So my mother asked me to bring her a bottle of the yellow tail wine I drink so she could share it with the group at her table. I said I would bring her some of the little individual serving bottles I can get at the grocery store. I’ve taken these little individual serving bottles of wine to the care center for my mother in the past, and she puts them in her closet for a ‘special occasion…” But, apparently they have a thief among them because when my mother went to get the wine, it was gone. I was not happy about it and said I was going to ask for a meeting with the department head to bring it to their attention, However, my mother got scared that it would somehow look bad on her for making a fuss about it and asked me not to mention it so I let the matter go.

On Thanksgiving, my husband, Bill/Bro, and I went to the care center to visit my mother and take her the yellow tail wine. My mother insisted we bring six individual bottles so she and her table mates could have two glasses each… I agreed because her doctor wrote an order saying she could have wine, and the duty nurse said he would hold her pain meds for that evening. When we arrived at the care center, I asked my mother where she wanted me to put the wine. The activity director came by and my mother called her over and asked her where she could put the wine until dinner time. The activity director gave me a permanent marker, and told me to write my mother’s name on the wine, and showed us a refrigerator in the physical therapy room where we could put the wine. She showed my mother what shelf the wine would be on so my mother could reach it and get it out for herself when she was ready… The duty nurse also was made aware of where the wine would be just in case mom needed any assistance. All was good and my mother was happy and excited that they were going to have their wine with their Thanksgiving dinner.

Bill and I stayed for two hours visiting with my mother then we said our good-byes and left to spend Thanksgiving with some of our friends…. and all appeared to be well…

Yesterday, Friday, my mother called me in a panic to say she didn’t get to have her wine on Thanksgiving because it was gone. I asked her what she meant by ” gone” and she said “someone took it.” I said “well this time, mom, I am going to ask for a meeting with the duty nurse, activity director, and the head of the care center, Alan. I said I think it’s time they know this stealing activity they have going on in the care center needs to be addressed. At that, my mother said “no, Cindy, I don’t want you to do that, because someone will get fired. I said “if they are stealing from the residents, or the care center, mom, they need to be fired.” Then, my mother said “if you do that, and get anyone fired, I’m going to fire you.” I told my mother “then fire me mom, I really don’t care.” That ended our conversation.

My mother’s favorite phrase to me has always been “I’m the matriarch,  and everyone has to do what I say.” When my mother says that to me now, I let her know I don’t dance to that tune anymore… I don’t believe in that, and I refuse to let anyone be in a position of dominance or power over me ever again. I treat people with dignity and respect, and I expect them to treat me the same way. I don’t believe anyone should have to “bow down” to anyone’s demands just because they are your mother, father, sibling or child. I also don’t believe that just because someone reaches a certain age, they can declare themselves beyond being held accountable for their actions and/or how they treat people.

All that said, I’m taking a much-needed break from my mother, again. I’m mentally exhausted, again, with all the emotional ups and downs of this roller coaster ride we’ve been on. My mother is fine at the care center, and they will call me in the event of any emergency. But for now, it is best for myself, and my family, if I just stay “fired” for a while… If anyone has an issue with that, I welcome them to fill in during my absence…

Stay Tuned!

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lou
    Nov 30, 2013 @ 20:21:53

    Sometimes, it’s just a matter of counting your blessings. Mom doesn’t sound like a fun “employer.”


  2. katsbynp
    Dec 01, 2013 @ 02:10:00

    Sometimes staying “fired” for a time isn’t all that bad. Thanks for sharing.


  3. gotham girl
    Dec 04, 2013 @ 21:20:55

    Enjoy your sabbatical! Start fresh in the new year! xoxoxo


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