Laugh or Cry

That is what I keep telling myself as I continue to work through the challenges my family has been dealing with over the past month. This past week I’ve spent the majority of my time driving to and from my daughter, Shantel’s, school, doctor’s appointments, pharmacy’s etc. etc. etc… As a result of all the appointments, I had to switch my normal days of visiting my mother at the care center where she lives. I called the duty nurse and asked if she would please let my mother know that due to the many appointments consuming my time,  I would come to visit my mother on Friday, and that I would be there early because I had another appointment around 11:00 Friday morning.  The nurse communicated the information to my mother, but my mother kept forgetting what day I was coming so she called me everyday wanting to know why I hadn’t come, and when I would be there…?

Yesterday my mother called me and said it was urgent that she see me, and asked me to bring her a bag of depends when I come to visit today, Friday. I asked her if she was sure she needed them because I just brought her a new pack last week, and at that time she had two packages of unopened depends on her table. She insisted she needed them so today I took her another package only to find a full unopened package sitting right where I left them for her last week. However, as I was visiting with mom, I noticed a large bruise on the top of her right hand, and a smaller, but still good size bruise on her left hand. I asked her what happened to her hands and she told me an Aid, that was new, gave her a shower and was pushing so hard on her skin that she told her she was hurting her but the Aid said “I’m not hurting you” and just kept scrubbing. My mother said she reported it to the duty nurse who was supposed to be taking it up with the Director of Nursing. I immediately went to speak to the Director of Nursing myself. The Director of Nursing told me she just found out about the incident herself and she is investigating it. I let her know I want the person that caused the bruises on my mother to be removed from caring for my mother and said in fact, I thought she should be fired as I considered it abuse, especially when my mother told her several times she was hurting her. It is under investigation as I type this, and I will be called later today with the results.

So, with that taken care of, I proceeded to try to continue visiting with my mother. I asked her if she went to Wal-Mart with the other residents last Friday and she said “yes, I bought a pair of pajamas.” She wanted me to see them and told me to look in her closet. I found the pajamas and was very surprised at how small they were. I asked my mother if she was sure she could fit into them? She said “yes, I’ve already had them on twice and everyone said they were just made for me.” I looked at the tag and saw they were a size 11 junior.” There is no way my mother could ever fit into a size 11 junior. She wears a woman size 16-18. But, she insisted she can wear them so I just let it be… I tried to find other topics to talk about, but, she was very distracted, and said she wanted to go to her exercise session which takes about 45 minutes. I reminded my mother I had to leave by 10:00 because I had another appointment I needed to go to today… my mother just looked up at me and said “BYE”. So I took her to the exercise room, hugged her, said good-bye, and came back home after spending a total of 20 minutes at the care center… I guess it wasn’t that “urgent’ for her to see me today after all…

I swear, sometimes it is all I can do to keep my wits about me in the midst of all the craziness around me, and I often find myself thinking “what in the hell did I ever do to get selected to be the gate-keeper for all this craziness…?? Then, I realize I have two choices…, either laugh or cry about it…

With a little help from my family, friends, and a little yellow-tail, I believe I will just keep trying to find humor in it all, and choose to LAUGH... 🙂

Stay tuned!

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    Jan 25, 2014 @ 02:05:45

    I am sooooo with you on the yellow-tail! My favorite at the end of a crazy day. So thinking of you…xoxo MORE!


  2. katsbynp
    Jan 25, 2014 @ 02:11:46

    I am glad you can still see the positive and humor. Sometimes it just seems like we cannot get a moment to catch our breath. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

    I will be anxious to hear the outcome of the nursing assistant situation. I certainly agree that she should be fired. There is no excuse for what happened.

    Thanks for sharing.


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