Day Nine

Of the ten-day countdown before our daughter, Shantel, moves into her own apartment started out nice and slow. Shantel didn’t have classes today so I didn’t have to make that drive to Phoenix. Instead, I decided I would get the grocery shopping done and go visit my mother. I have been eating, drinking and sleeping talk of “the move” for so long now that I just decided since Shantel would be home today watching her TV shows, I would give myself a little break from even thinking about “the move…” or so I thought!

On my way to visit my mother at the Care Center, I stopped by McDonald’s to get a caramel frappe, her absolute favorite treat.

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I bought a small one today because the last time I bought her a large, she drank the whole thing then wouldn’t eat any of her lunch. Well, apparently it doesn’t matter what size frappe she gets, once she has it, all thoughts of getting her to eat her lunch go out the window… All I could manage to get her to eat was a very small bowl of chicken with rice soup. However, as soon as she ate that she immediately wanted to go find the duty nurse, Judy, to let her know she ate soup WITH her lunch, and asked her if she thought that was enough… Judy, not knowing that was all mom ate, and had no idea mom wouldn’t eat her lunch because she drank the frappe before lunch… said “oh yeah, that’s fine.” After I pushed mom back to her room she said to me “that’s how you get in the back door to keep them off your back about eating…”

Visiting with my mother is somewhat of a challenge now because she has lost the ability to follow along with conversations for any length of time. After the initial hello, and hugs, mom will tell me a few things about what she thinks is going on in the care center. However, some of the stories she tells me are really far-fetched… and when I ask the duty nurse about some of the things mom tells me, they tell me most of what mom is talking about didn’t really happen or it is only bits and pieces of an actual event.

Even on the rare occasion when my mother asks me what is going with my husband, Bill or Shantel, when I start telling her she is so easily distracted she will just turn and leave mid-sentence. Today mom asked me about Shantel and what is going on with her. She remembered she is moving out and asked if she is in her new place yet. I tried to explain in simple, short-terms, about Shantel moving, but before I even got to the date of the move, mom turned and started towards the door.

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So, because of my mother’s lack of attention span,  I spend most of the time during our visits looking for things to talk about with her.  Today, I happened to notice this little handmade Easter decoration. How adorable is this little chicken egg cover, complete with a real feather for its tail?

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See, you flip it over and it is hiding a plastic egg filled with little candies. I LOVE that!

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I was able to get enough information out of mom to understand that the woman who oversee the Catholic Church Service every week, and bring Holy Communion to the residents, made these adorable little chick egg covers for all the residents. So CUTE!

Before long my mother said she was tired and wanted to take a nap. I hugged her and said I would see her again soon.

On my way home I thought about my visit with my mother and thought it went well, and in fact, it was a nice distraction from all talk at home about “the move…”

When I arrived home I saw two large garbage bags full of shoes on the kitchen counter. Of course I immediately asked Shantel what was going on and why were all those shoes on the kitchen counter? She said “I just washed them all and now they are ready to put in your car to take to my apartment.” I said “Shantel, first of all who washes all their shoes to move…? And you don’t even get the keys until May 5th, why would you think I want to drive around from now until then with all these shoes in my car? And, why aren’t they in moving boxes?” Shantel smiled and said “I’m not putting all my clean shoes in boxes, it will be fine mom, we will just carry them into my apartment in these nice clean bags…” I said “I’m not going to haul all your belongings into your apartment in “nice clean” garbage bags like some kind of backwoods hillbilly’s.” Her response was ” oh, mom, it will be fine… you worry too much about how things look, relax and it will all be just fine.”

At this point, all I want to do is get through this with what little sanity I have left…. so I conceded to what I have no doubt will be many, many more “nice clean garbage bags full of Shantel’s stuff…

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However, in my own defense… I know I am a planner, and I try to have things manageable in my life… Raising a totally blind child for me, required everything in its place, consistency, and not only having a plan, but a back-up plan as well… That’s how I got through it… Shantel is just not like that. She plans nothing, and has no problem just throwing things together on the fly at the last-minute… etc. So, all I can do at this point is respect her wishes, and keep reminding myself that even though she is moving into a one bedroom apartment alone, without roommates to help her along…,  She will be fine. She does things differently than I do… but she is not me, and in reality, I am proud that she is about to dance to the beat of her own  music

I love you Shantel,

Mom

Stay Tuned!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bill
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 23:33:09

    I am so glad you had a nice visit with your Mom , on the other hand, when you got back to reality some things never change, I am sure glad we just bought a BIG box of garbage bags.

    Love Your Bill

    Reply

  2. gotham girl
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 23:55:11

    Oh what a great post! Love your stories from the care center…what’s happening with you mom…and of course – the m-o-v-e. Always in my thoughts, always…xoxo

    Reply

  3. katsbynp
    May 01, 2014 @ 02:21:27

    Great post. I am a planner and like to have things semi-organized so I can see walking into garbage bag full of shoes. After the move you can sit back and laugh at some of these memories.
    I too like the stories of the care center visit. They always make me smile. Thanks for sharing with us.

    Reply

    • beyondcinderella
      May 01, 2014 @ 13:17:50

      Yes, as stressful as it is getting Shantel moved into her own apartment, at the same time we are making memories I’m sure we will laugh about once it’s all said and done. Thanks for your continued support Kathy.

      Reply

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