Day Three and Two

Of the ten-day countdown of our daughter, Shantel, moving to her own apartment.

Yesterday, day three, of the countdown was uneventful since we didn’t have the keys to her apartment yet, and couldn’t start setting up her kitchen, bathroom etc. She spent most of the day lying around listening to her TV shows while I worked on getting laundry done and making a list of things we need to take on our road trip to Grand Junction Colorado, Monday, for our granddaughter’s High School graduation. Like I’ve said many times, I am a planner and I have a plan for almost everything I do. Making a list of things we need to take helps me ensure we don’t forget important things like our meds, camera, cell phone chargers etc… Yes, sometimes people laugh at all my planning, but they stop laughing when I pull something out of my suitcase that they forgot to pack… No names to mention here,  but just saying… 🙂

Today, day two of the countdown, I went to get my hair cut, went to buy the groceries, and to visit my mother. Just before I  reached my mother’s room, the two ladies that conduct the Catholic Church Service every Wednesday approached me and said they were glad I was there. They see my mother every week and know her well. They both said they were very worried about her because today in church service, mom was not able to follow along and didn’t seem to know why she was there and who all the people were in the room. These are the same 10 people who are in the church service room every week for the past 5 years. Mom said she didnt’ know any of them and didn’t know what she was doing there and asked to go back to her room.

When I entered my mother’s room, I was very surprised to find my mother in such a state of complete disorientation, and I had not been called by the nursing staff to let me know about it. My mother looked wild-eyed, and was so confused, when I walked in and hugged her, she looked at me for a long time and asked “who are you?” That has never happened before. Even several years ago when she was on some medications that didn’t mix well with her Parkinson’s medication and she thought people were skinning cats and dogs in the rooms down the hall…. even then, she still knew who I was. Since my mother didn’t recognize me when I was looking at her I said “mom, it’s me, Cindy.” She kept looking at me then said in a very surprised voice “oh, Cindy, how did you get here?” I told her I drove and she said “all that way (I live 10 minutes from the care center). I said “yes, mom, I drove.” Mom asked me if I brought dad with me because she can’t find him and she has been looking everywhere for him for two days. My father has been dead for almost 8 years.

I went out and asked the duty nurse what was going on with my mother. She told me mom has been very confused for the past couple days and they think she might have a urinary track infection (UTI). I asked if my mother was running a fever or complaining of any pain. She said no, but told me they called the doctor and are going to have mom checked out for that. She said sometimes when elderly patients get UTI’s they do sometimes get very confused. I reminded the nurse that I want to be called when anything changes with my mother’s condition. I also told her I wanted to be called as soon as they find out if she has a UTI or not. I also reminded her that if mom does have a UTI they need to be very careful of what type of medication they give her for it and to make sure it will not have a bad reaction with her Parkinson’s medications.

It was hard to have a serious conversation with the nursing staff about my mother, as today was “crazy hair day” and all the nursing staff and anyone working in the care center all had their hair dyed all kinds of crazy colors and some had on really crazy hats. They also had all the residents hair dyed different colors, using wash out dye’s of course. They put blue streaks in my mother’s hair.


After I had the conversation with the nursing staff about my mother’s condition. I asked my mother if she was ready to go to lunch. She said she didn’t know where to go for lunch. I told her I would take her to the dining room where she always goes to eat and said “your tablemate, Joan, will be waiting there for you.” Mom didn’t know who Joan was, and when I pushed her into the dining room where she has been eating all of her meals for the last 5 years, she said “I didnt’ even know this place was here, did you?” I said “yes, mom, this is where you eat everyday and where I come and sit with you during your meals.” She didn’t say anything but kept looking around the room like she had no idea where she was. She told the server she didn’t know what she was supposed to do so I asked the server what her lunch choices were and picked the fruit plate for mom. I gave her the fork and broke off a piece of the muffin, but she just kept sitting there looking at me like she didn’t know what she was supposed to do next.


Finally, she put the fork down, picked up a few pieces of fruit and ate them, and said “I want to go back to my room and see if dad’s there yet.” She said “I know he will be coming to get me soon so I’m going to go lay down and wait for him, and you can go outside and play with the other kids for a while.” I said I would stay and sit with her but she insisted I go because the other kids would be waiting for me but she said not go too far away from the house.”

I decided I would go home thinking perhaps she would take a nap and maybe feel better when she woke up and perhaps by then the doctor would have determined what they need to do about her condition. I asked the nurse to call me right away if anything changes and told her I could be there in 10 minutes.

As I was walking through the lobby to leave, my mom’s friend, and long time resident, Sherry, stopped me and told me of her concerns about my mother. She said your mom has been going up and down the halls looking for your dad for the past two days and keeps telling everyone she is going home as soon as Tom, my dad, gets there…”

All of this of course was very concerning to hear. I will post an update when I know more.

Tomorrow we get the keys to Shantel’s apartment for real… I will be more than happy to get all her precious bags of stuff out of my car…

Stay Tuned!






10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bill
    May 07, 2014 @ 23:30:38

    Your hair looks great , sorry abut your mom, hope tomorrow she will show improvement, not a great day.

    Love Bill


    • beyondcinderella
      May 08, 2014 @ 00:23:30

      No, Bill, this was not a great day when I went to see my mother… I will keep a close watch on this, checking in on her tomorrow, Friday and Saturday…but if she doesn’t come out of this by Saturday, it is not looking good for us to travel to Colorado… We will see…


  2. Ellen Kaufman
    May 08, 2014 @ 01:01:34

    I feel so bad for your is so hard to believe how fast she could change from talking to me on the phone about different things in the past and remembering all my kids names and wanting to know how they are even how their kids are doing…my sister was always so fun to be around ….I will pray the Dr gets to the bottom of it. Keep me posted and I will pray for her and all of you ..
    Enjoy your next project with Shantel. Love you 💜


    • beyondcinderella
      May 08, 2014 @ 01:44:00

      Yes, Aunt Ellen, it hard to believe how fast things can change with the elderly from one day to the next. They can be fine one day, and change on a dime the next. Mom has a lot of medical issues going on… but, she has come back from what we were told were very serious conditions before, even when she was on Hospice and recovered twice… I just never saw her not recognize me before or go looking for dad before like this… or have so many people that know her express the drastic change in her over the past few days. I hope this is just a UTI and can be quickly resolved… I will keep you posted, and please know you can call me anytime to get an update if you want. XoXo Virginia


  3. katsbynp
    May 08, 2014 @ 01:43:51

    So sorry to hear about Aunt Virginia. I will keep you all in my prayers. Hopefully it is just a urinary tract infection.
    I am sure Shantel is excited about getting the keys tomorrow.
    Thanks for sharing.Love you


  4. jill
    May 08, 2014 @ 02:36:57

    Really sorry to hear about aunt Virginia, please keep me posted andit goes without saying but if you need anything please don’t hesitate to call no matter the time….love you


    • beyondcinderella
      May 08, 2014 @ 02:45:16

      Thank you Jill. I will provide updates as I have them. I’m waiting to hear back from the doctor to see if this is a UTI or what. I told them to call me as soon as they know. She has come back from very serious things before over the past 5 years so hopefully, she will do the same this time.


  5. gotham girl
    May 08, 2014 @ 03:40:27

    Oh…how I understand your concerns…thinking of you and I know you’ll keep us posted. Love you!


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