What A Week

When I went to visit my mother at the Care Center this week I was informed that two days before my visit, she tried to get out of bed by herself and fell on the floor. I asked why no one called to let me know about the incident which is usually their common practice? No one seemed to have an answer so I went on to see how my mother was doing. She was sitting in her wheelchair just outside her door looking very confused. I pushed her into her room and asked her why she tried to get out of her bed without help but she never really gave me an answer, she just started telling me something about she was in a big room with lots of people around and she fell… I asked her if she hurt anywhere and she said “my bottom hurts.” I asked her to lean forward as far as she could and I checked to see if she had any bruises on her back… but I couldn’t see anything. I went to the nurse and asked if anyone had ordered an ex-ray to determine if my mother had fractured anything when she fell out of her bed. No one had, so I requested that be done right away and told them I wanted to be called immediately when they had the results.

I went back into my mother’s room and sat on her bed facing her and asked her if anything else had happened to her since I was there two days ago? Mom proceeded to tell me that her roommate had a male relative come to visit her and the roommate gave the relative mom’s bed for two days. I said “where did you sleep?” Mom told me she had to go sleep with the nurses at the nurses station… I asked mom how she finally got the roommates relative out of her bed and she said she didn’t know, he just finally left.

I went back to the nurse and asked if anyone had spent any length of time talking with my mother because she is telling stories that I know are not true and that usually happens when she has a urinary track infection (UTI) or when she has been given a medication that doesn’t work well with her Parkinson’s medication. The nurse said she would notify the doctor and request an order for a UTI test and blood tests to determine if mom has another UTI or if something shows up in her blood work that would identify the cause of mom’s confusion… Again, I asked to be called immediately with the results and I also expressed my frustration with the responsibility falling to me to notice these changes in my mother when she lives in that Care Center, which is a 24/7 skilled nursing facility…

I stayed and visited with my mother for a few hours then I went home with plans to check in on her again the following day. That night my brother, Danny, called me to tell me he hurt his back at work and would not be able to go visit our mother at the Care Center that following Sunday which is his usual visiting day. I told him not to worry about it, because I was going almost everyday now since mom fell out of bed, and hurts, and that she is very confused again… I told him I would go on Sunday as well and take mom some homemade cabbage rolls and have lunch with her, which I did.

I packed a lunch box with a cabbage roll and black rice for both mom, and I, and I also took some fresh cantaloupe which mom always loves… When I entered mom’s room, I found her asleep in her bed. She had been up for breakfast, but told the nurses she wanted to go back to bed after breakfast. I found an aid and asked if she would please get my mother up and into her wheelchair because I brought lunch for her and needed to take her to the activity room so we could eat our lunch together while the other residents were in the dining room.

Finally, mom was ready and off we went to enjoy our lunch together.


I pushed mom to the activity room, and set out our lunch, which I had been telling mom about all week, and she had been telling me all week how excited she was to get some homemade cabbage rolls. However, once we were alone in the activity room, mom looked very confused and wanted to know where everyone went. I explained to her that the other residents were in the dinning room but she and I were going to eat our lunch in the activity room so we could have some quality one-on-one time… mom took about three bites of her cabbage roll, one piece of cantaloupe and said “I can’t eat any more so let’s go back to my room.”

I put everything back into the lunchbox and back to her room we went.

In mom’s room, I asked her if she would like me to try to contact her sister, Katy, as mom hasn’t talked to Katy in a while. Mom said she would like that and I was able to get Katy on the phone. Mom talked for a few minutes then handed me the phone and said she wanted to go.. I let Katy know mom was done talking and said good-bye.  I sat on mom’s bed facing mom and tried to talk to her about how she was feeling etc… she answered a few questions but seemed very distracted by every little noise in the hallway. I asked mom if she needed anything and she said she needed to go to the bathroom. I pushed the call button and asked the aid if she would help mom in the bathroom which she did.

When the aid brought mom out of the bathroom, I continued sitting on mom’s bed and tried once again to strike up a conversation but mom just sat there looking at me then finally said “you will  need to take me back to my room now.” I said “take you back to your room, mom, we are sitting in your room.” She looked all around her room and asked “is this really my room?” I told her it was really her room then she said she was tired and wanted to go to bed. I pushed the call button again and asked the aid to help mom get in bed, hugged mom good-bye, and left, letting her know I would be back the following day… That evening the nurse called me and said the doctor reported that mom does not have a UTI and her blood work seems alright. The doctor determined mom’s confusion is due to the progression of the Parkinson’s and dementia and said mom will most likely continue to have episodes of confusion, along with periods when she is not as confused..  In other words, she will have good day’s and bad day’s and even good and bad episodes within each day…

I spend a good deal of time with my mother, especially now that she isn’t feeling so well… My mother is eighty-six years old, and she tells me often she is very tired, and just wants to go be with my dad, her husband of 57 years, who died almost nine years ago… What can you say to that?

Stay Tuned!



12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ellen Kaufman
    Jun 09, 2014 @ 22:06:36

    I am so sorry Virginia about my sister . I know, in her right state of mind and in her heart she would be overjoyed with your visits and the wonderful delicious food and the love she has for you and all of her family.
    It is a bad time for her now but we must pray and think of all the good times we have had with her. You have been a good daughter to her and I know God is so pleased with you. Let us pray that there will be a rainbow in her cloud today and she will feel that love and strength coming from her greatest blessings ….. Her children and family ! This is my prayer ❤️ Hopefully tomorrow the dark cloud will be gone and a rainbow along with the sun shining on her face and she will be true self again.


    • beyondcinderella
      Jun 09, 2014 @ 22:25:11

      Thank you Aunt Ellen. I pray everyday that mom will find peace, and a little joy in her days… It is a very difficult time for all of us right now…Thanks for your continued love and support. xoXo


  2. John and Myrna
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 00:43:13

    Well Sis, sounds like some of the actions of some folks I know that had the same thing as your mom! Not a good thing to see. The only thing that you can do is love her as she is as long as she is here. You have been blessed with a good mom. Keeping you all in our prayers. It’s not going to get any easier but with Gods help things will go smoothly. Love ya all,JB

    >________________________________ >From: beyond cinderella >To: kirny1@frontier.com >Sent: Monday, June 9, 2014 3:48 PM >Subject: [New post] What A Week > > > >beyondcinderella posted: “When I went to visit my mother at the Care Center this week I was informed that two days before my visit, she tried to get out of bed by herself and fell on the floor. I asked why no one called to let me know about the incident which is usually their comm” >


  3. katsbynp
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 02:27:35

    The only thing to do is take one day at a time. I have a friend whose mom also is having some confusion and he always says every day is a new adventure.
    I hope the center will begin notifying you of things in a prompt manner as I imagine this just makes things even more frustrating
    Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. I am here if you need me. Love you


  4. Megs
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 02:30:01

    I’m so sorry Virginia! Let me know if you need anything. Xoxo


  5. Soledad Brozek
    Jun 14, 2014 @ 21:33:44

    OMG!!! that is so sad. Brought memories of my mother – she is blessed she’s got you and your brother.


  6. gotham girl
    Jun 22, 2014 @ 19:38:28

    It’s so scary that this kind of thing happens so frequently in care centers. Experienced the exact same thing when my dad was there….hang in there gal, and know your are an angel to many! Love you!!


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