That Moment When…

you begin to realize your mother/daughter relationship is also transitioning into a mother/daughter friendship as well…

Since our daughter, Shantel, moved out of our home, and into her own apartment, together my husband Bill, and I, have been working through the transition of having an empty nest, for the second time around. We are loving our new-found freedom, but still miss Shantel’s presence in our home…

Shantel turned 21 on June 16th. About a month prior to her birthday she said she wanted to move out and try living on her own. Both Bill and I totally supported that decision because our whole goal as a family, as we raised Shantel, was to help her in every way, and anyway ,we could to one day live her own life, and realize her own dreams, independent of us. That said, I must say again that the day Shantel moved out of our home was one of the most difficult days of my life. I just could not imagine her not living here with us anymore. However, at the same time, I knew her decision was the absolute best thing for her, as well as us. And, I am so very proud of her determination and courage to not let her own fears stand in her way of achieving her ultimate goal of one day being completely independent.

We are still in a transition period but everyday we get closer to our agreed upon goals. When I say we are still in transition, what I mean is, I do go over once a week and take Shantel to buy her groceries. She pays for the groceries, but I do drive her to the store. I also drive her to any doctor/dentist appointments etc. because most of her appointments would still require the dail-a-ride transfers from Phoenix dail-a-ride to East Valley dail-a-ride which sometimes leaves her waiting for hours… And, to be completely honest, I enjoy those once a week, in person, one-on-one, visits with Shantel.

But to get back to the topic of this post “That Moment When…” Shantel calls me almost everyday and I love our chats, and I text her every night to say good night…  During one of our conversations this past weekend, Shantel told me her friend, Jaz, came over Sunday, and took Shantel out to look around in some of Shantel’s favorite stores, then out to lunch… I was very happy to hear that Shantel is getting out of her apartment and spending time with friends… what came as a surprise to me was when Shantel actually asked me if I had plans for today (Monday) saying she would love it if just she and I could go to a movie and lunch!! Of course, I jumped on that… and I picked her up at 9:30 this morning for a 10:30 show of “Think Like A Man II” and then lunch.

What a thrill it was to have my daughter actually ask me out on a mother/daughter outing.. I so enjoyed our time together, especially having an in-depth conversation with Shantel about recent events, and what is going on in her life right now… I so love that as an adult, she trusts me with her thoughts and feelings… That alone makes any and all hardships we faced as a family worth it all… Thank you and  I LOVE you Shantel!

Stay Tuned!

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    Jun 23, 2014 @ 22:41:00

    pure and simple. beautiful. xoxo


  2. Ellen Kaufman
    Jun 24, 2014 @ 02:05:33

    Very happy for you and Shantel to be able to experience that kind of adult relationship.


  3. katsbynp
    Jun 27, 2014 @ 02:27:07

    It is so nice to have a mother/daughter relationship and a friendship too. Jen and I have that and I do enjoy our time together. It is different once they move out but I think in some ways it only gets better. Love you.


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