Danny, Lost, And Found

My brother, Danny, goes to see our mother at the Care Center where she lives almost every Sunday and my mother always looks forward to his weekly visit.

I visit my mother 2-3 times a week and try to plan my visits around an activity she will be involved in such as bingo, church service, or her lunch time. I do this because if I try to just sit and visit with my mother one-on-one, she gets easily distracted and will often times leave me sitting while she wanders out into the hall or even into another room. When I’m with my mother and she does wander into the hall etc. I remind her that I came to visit her and she should come back and spend some time visiting with me… If she doesn’t come back to where I am, I go where she is and bring her back explaining that if she doesn’t want to visit any longer I can go and she continue about her business. Sometimes that works and my mother will focus her attention on our visit. Other times she will just say “OK, you can go now” so I give her a hug, tell her good-bye, and let her know when I plan to come back.

Yesterday (Sunday), I received a frantic phone call from my mother. She was so upset I could barely understand what she was trying to tell me. After a lot of asking her to slow down and repeat what she just said, she was finally told me that my brother, Danny, had come to visit her. She said he sat through lunch with her then pushed her to the activity room and was going to help her play bingo. Then she told me that she told Danny she would be right back because she wanted to go to her tablemates (Joan) room to check on her because she has been really sick and just got out of the hospital. Mom said Danny told her not to go to see Joan and said she should stay with him and play bingo. Mom went on to tell me that she told Danny again that she would be right back and left.

Finally, after about a half an hour of listening to what mom was trying to tell me, I asked her what is it that has her so upset. She said “I lost Danny”. I asked her to explain what she meant and she said when she came back from Joan’s room, Danny was gone and she has been looking for him for hours. I asked her how she was able to call me since I know she can’t push the numbers on her cell phone anymore and she told me she went to the nurses station and asked the duty nurse, George, to look up my number and call me because this was a real emergency to find Danny. Then she handed the phone over to George and asked him to explain to me that Danny was lost. When George got on the phone I told him that I can assure him Danny is not lost. I said mom wandered away from Danny while he was visiting with her and he probably just decided he wasn’t going to sit there alone while mom wanders about the building. George said he knew Danny was not lost but thought it might help settle mom down if she could talk to me about it.  I apologized to George for my mother taking up his time for this and asked him if I could speak to my mother again telling him that I was going to tell my mother Danny is fine and to go back to her room and take her afternoon nap.

When mom got back on the phone. I told her I was sure Danny was fine but she insisted that I call him and find out where he was. I told her I would call Danny and asked her to go take her nap which she agreed to do.

I did call my brother Danny but he didn’t answer his phone so I left him a message letting him know what was going on and how upset mom was thinking he is lost…

About two hours later I received another phone call from a number I did not recognize. I answered it and it was my mother’s next door neighbor, David (the man who lost one of his legs in an auto accident and just recently found out he may need to have his other leg amputated. In other words, David has enough of his own problems without my mother getting him involved in looking for her son, Danny, that I can assure everyone was not lost.) David proceeded to tell me how upset my mother was and asked me to talk to her and try to calm her down. When my mother got on the phone she asked me if I found Danny yet. I told her that I called him but he didn’t answer so I left a message. I said you just need to calm down mom and stop making such an ordeal out of this. I told her again that Danny is not lost. He just went home, which is a 45 minute drive from the Care Center and he and his wife Bea are probably out doing something together since Sunday is their only day off together. At that mom said “well, call Bea then and ask her if she knows where Danny is”. Then David got back on the phone and said he would sit with mom for a while until she calms down. David went on to tell me what a joy my mother is and how she is like his grandmother at the Care Center and what a blessing she is in his life… I thanked David for trying to help my mother but told him that I only live 10 minutes from the Care Center and would come down there right away if I thought at all that anything was wrong with Danny, or if in fact Danny went missing… I said my mother is just making way too much out of this and she just needs to stop getting everyone involved in this and go find something positive to do, and I will be there tomorrow (Monday) to check on her.

Well, seven phone calls later, all within a five-hour span, from the nurses at the Care Center, David, my call to Danny etc. I finally connected with my sister-in-law, Bea, and found out that Danny was in fact home, not answering his phone because he was frustrated that he drove all that way to see mom and she just left him sitting…. I don’t blame him, but I asked Bea to see if Danny would please call the Care Center and let the nurse know he is fine so all those crazy phone calls I’m getting would stop!!! Bea said “Danny’s not going to call up there because he’s too frustrated with the whole thing right now.” So I said “OK, then I will call and let them know I FOUND Danny and they can all relax and stop calling me…” I did call them, they did stop calling me, and so I guess all is well that ends well… now that Danny has been found!

Stay Tuned!

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    Oct 21, 2014 @ 19:38:21

    What a circus! xoxoxo


  2. katsbynp
    Oct 25, 2014 @ 02:05:11

    Another not so calm day in your life! As we say when we have a crazy day..”we couldn’t make up this stuff!” Thanks for sharing.


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