Redemption, Of Sorts

My mother has always LOVED chocolate, and Ghirardelli chocolate has always been her all time favorite. Now hold that thought…

This past weekend my husband, Bill, and I, were getting some things done around the house when the phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number on the caller Id and when I answered the phone all I could hear was some low, rumbling voices that I couldn’t understand… I asked who was calling several times but still could not make out what the person, or persons, on the other end of the phone was saying. Finally, after several attempts to find out who was calling and what they wanted… I just hung up the phone.

Just as I was getting back into the swing of the project at hand, the phone rang again, showing the same number on the caller Id. This time Bill answered it and found out it was my mother, calling from the Care Center where she lives. He handed the phone to me and when I got on the phone I heard my mother, and David, one of the other residents at the Care Center, talking to me on speaker phone asking me why I hung up on them…? I said “oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it was you, mom, or you David, because I couldn’t understand what either one of you were saying and I didn’t recognize the number on the caller Id.” David laughed and said he was just trying to be helpful and call me from his cell phone because my mother doesn’t know how to use hers anymore and she wanted to know where I was and what I was doing…? Then he laughed and said that is really a bad thing to hang up on your own mother…” Of course, then my mother chimed in and said “yeah, that is really, really, bad to hang up on your mother…” I said “well, I didn’t know it was you and I’m really sorry so what can I ever do to make it up to both of you?” There was a short pause and I could hear them talking to each other… then together they both said “chocolate always works.” I agreed and said I would be at the Care Center on Tuesday with chocolate for both of them…

Today, true to my word, I arrived at the Care Center to visit my mother, and brought both her and David a bar of Ghirardelli chocolate .

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When I arrived at the Care Center my mother was in the activity room attempting to play bingo. I helped her with her numbers and together we won two games. Then I pushed her to the dinning room for lunch. I read the menu choices (lasagna or BLT) mom decided on the lasagna. I sat with her through lunch and after she ate what she was going to eat… I brought out the chocolate bar and asked her if she remembered when she and David called me and I didn’t know who it was so I hung up on them? She said “yes, I do.” I said well I said I was sorry, and asked what I could do to make it up to both you and David, and both of you said you would like some chocolate, so here is a big bar of your favorite, Ghirardelli chocolate mom…picture a big smile on my face… 🙂 My mother looked at that chocolate bar and said “that makes me sick.” I said “mom you have always loved chocolate, and this has always been your favorite…” she just pushed it back at me and said “well, I don’t like it now because it makes me sick.” I won’t go into what I was thinking or feeling… but about that time, Bob, who is not a resident, but comes to visit his sister every day asked if he could join us at our table… Mom smiled up at him, picked up the chocolate bar and said “here Bob, this is for being my friend and bingo buddy… I excused myself from the table saying I would be right back and went to find David to give him his chocolate bar.

I found David at the nurses station. He saw me walking toward him and started waving. When I reached David he asked me what I was doing walking the halls without my mother. I said “she is in the dining room, I just left for a few minutes to bring you this chocolate bar as promised after I hung up on you and my mother the other day.” David’s face lit up and he said “oh, you didn’t really need to do that, but thank-you so very much, and I will share this with one of my friends this evening after dinner…” Then David asked if I gave my mother one too… I said I did, but she said she didn’t want it because it makes her sick…. David laughed, shook his head, and said “she is something else…. has to be a hard ass right to the very end…” I didn’t say anything back to David because I was thinking to myself… enough said…!

As I was driving home I was a little bummed, but not as much as I would have been in the past. I have accepted the fact that my mother and I have always had a difficult relationship to say the least… to be very honest, and this is what I try to share in my blog posts… i.e. the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly side of family life…, In my younger years I thought I hated my mother… as I matured, I tried desperately to win my mother’s approval… and now, as I get older…, sometimes I pity her, because she just can’t accept what is right in front of her… again… enough said.

That said, I was welcomed by this beautiful sight as I pulled into my driveway upon returning home from my visit with my mother… I so love this little turtle flower-pot…

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And if you look closely, at the top left of this planter, there was a beautiful black and yellow butterfly going from flower to flower..

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Just the fact that the flowers Bill and I planted are still thriving… MADE my day today!!! Sometimes you just need to look for the little things in life to lift you up!!

Stay Tuned!

 

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    Nov 19, 2014 @ 01:21:38

    Absolutely it’s the little things!! You are a wonderful daughter…always remember that! Love you and love your beautiful flowers!!

    Reply

  2. katsbynp
    Nov 19, 2014 @ 02:53:59

    It truly is the little things. I can understand your feelings regarding your mom because I had the same type of relationship. I haven’t forgotten the tumultuous periods of our relationship but now see some more of the good times.
    You are a loving and caring daughter and never forget that.
    Love the pictures especially the butterfly on the flowers.

    Love you

    Reply

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