Homecoming with Mom – 2015

So I went to see my mother yesterday at the Care Center where she lives. As I approached her room I saw her in deep thought as she was going through her night stand drawers. When I entered her room I said “good morning mom” and she looked up at me with a look of great surprise on her face and said “Cindy, oh, I’m so happy to see you, how did you get here?”

I reminded her that we are back in Arizona and that I will be coming to see her every week now. She was very happy to hear that, then immediately asked me if I thought her eyes looked crossed to me… I said “no, why mom?” She said because I feel like my eyes are crossed. Well that prompted me to take a closer look at her glasses, and sure enough, she had on a pair of glasses that I knew were not hers! I know my mother has two pair of glasses and I know what both look like and the ones she had on were definitely NOT hers… So I told mom that I didn’t think she had on her own glasses. She said “well, these are the glasses that were on my table (night stand) so I put them on…

I looked in my mother’s night stand, found her two pair of glasses, cleaned them, and put one pair of them on her…, Then she said “OH!, that is much better… Then I found the duty nurse and told her that my mother somehow came in contact with her roommate’s glasses and I wanted to return them… The duty nurse laughed and said “oh that happens all the time now, they think they can share everything… I didn’t even want to know what else they share so I didn’t ask…

About an hour into our visit it was time for my mother to go to lunch. I pushed her in her wheelchair to the lunchroom where I was greeted by the Dietician who told me that my mother’s weight is now 135 lbs. She said that is a significant weight loss for my mother. When Bill and I left to go to Utah last May, my mother’s weight was 157 lbs. So she lost 22 lbs since we have been gone. I was asked what I thought about that, and I said “my mother just wants to be kept comfortable, and she doesn’t want to know what is going on with her health, or why she is loosing so much weight.”

Mom looks good, well as good as she can considering her condition…, she recognized me, and was able to talk to me in short sentences… But it was a struggle for her to tell me what she needed, and what she thought went wrong while I was gone…  I didn’t ask what went wrong while I was gone but she started a couple of times to tell me that something happened… but she couldn’t remember… The only reason I am sharing this on my blog is for family and friends that want to know how she is doing… She is doing as good as can be expected… but the reality is she is in her final stage of life and I don’t want anyone to have false hope… She is not going to get any better… and in fact, when I visit mom, she tells me she is tired and just wants to go be with dad…

But while I was visiting with my mother she told me that she gets something for breakfast that is thick and creamy, and she isn’t sure she likes it …. I asked her if it was oatmeal? She said “I think so, but I don’t like it.” I said “mom you and dad had oatmeal every morning when dad was alive and you ate it and said dad said “it’s good for you.” She said “well, yes, dad said it was good for us, and he also drank vinegar every morning saying that was good for us…, but I wouldn’t drink that… and I’m still here and he is not, so what does that tell you?”

Well, all I can say is my mother is 89 years old, what she likes to call the “matriarch of the family…, and she says she never gave into all those “hoky-poky” things dad wanted her to do like drink vinegar, eat oatmeal… and she is still here… must mean something… what do you think?

Stay Tuned!




6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gotham girl
    Nov 03, 2015 @ 23:49:51

    I’d say the lady has a point! Ha! You took me back to times when dad was in the care center…other people would take his shoes…his watch…his glasses…sometimes they would show back up and other times…not. Great to get an update!! Love you…more!


    • beyondcinderella
      Nov 04, 2015 @ 01:16:30

      Oh, yes, GG I remember you telling me about your dad’s things disappearing and reappearing at the Care Center he live in… As far as the “hoky-poky things my mom said my dad wanted her to do.. I believe when it is your time to go, you go…, no matter what you try to do to prevent it… Love and miss you and can’t wait to see you this winter!


  2. Ellen Kaufman
    Nov 04, 2015 @ 07:13:55

    Glad you and your Mom had a very nice first visit. At 89 I think she is doing very well considering her elements . Your time away was good for both of you and with what time we all might have in our latter stage of our lives I feel we should eat , drink, and do what we feel like doing and pleases us. So, enjoy the winter in Arizona doing the things you and Bill love to do . I know your Mom is happy for you and she has adjusted and we all respect her for
    being the oldest in the family.
    Love you guys and thanks for being so good to your Mom.


  3. Karen Reno
    Nov 04, 2015 @ 18:53:02

    I would give the care center a list of the things she does enjoy eating and ask them to serve her that. There are a lot of people who don’t care for oatmeal, so hopefully there are other options for her. Sounds like she’s doing pretty good. Recognizes that her glasses are wonky, etc. Enjoy reading your blog posts!


    • beyondcinderella
      Nov 04, 2015 @ 19:49:06

      Thanks Karen. The care center does have a list of things my mother “used” to like but the problem is she hallucinates and thinks she sees the kitchen staff chopping of the nose of pigs so she won’t eat pork now. She insists that they are chopping off the heads of chickens too so she won’t eat chicken.. So now they just let her eat what she will and they give her supplemental calories using Ensure. She is doing OK but is on hospice again for the extreme weight loss XoXo


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